Hope, for this last decade, was a mostly meaningless word for Lions fans. There was no cause for hope, no reason to look towards the future; the present was bleak enough. That’s begun to change.

Yesterday, the Lions defeated the Minnesota Vikings 20-13 (I AM reasonably sure this happened) to take third place (aka NOT last place) in the NFC North for the first time since 2007. This firmly planted the seeds of hope in my sporting soul.

You see, I am a Lions fan, but I missed the Barry Sanders era. I personally don’t remember him running guys out of their shoes, twisting defenders into pretzels while striding towards the endzone. But I do have other memories.

Memories of guys like Bill Schroeder and Az-Zahir Hakim doing impersonations of #1 recievers. Memeries of Dre’ Bly’s antics, whether the Lions were up 7 or down 28. Memories of Shaun Rogers blocking field goals on one play and not giving anything remotely resembling a shit on the next.

But now, I have hope.

A Second Later, Delhomme was a splatter on the Ford Field turf.

There’s been reason to look forward with “reasonable confidence”. 0 wins to 2 wins to 6 wins. A clear identity on offense (get the ball to skill position guys in space) and defense (rush the hell out of the passer). A 3rd-and-15 conversion where before there was none. Never giving up at home. Never giving up on the road. Winning on the road. Winning TWO STRAIGHT on the road. Closing the season out strong. One can see the progress.

But now, I have fear.

I have dared to hope before. The Kitna-Martz era. The Drafting of Kevin Jones (yeah, I thought he was a game changer. Whiffed on that one). The day Rod Marinelli was fired. But because being a Lions fan means pain and suffering and INT’s and fumbles and punt returns for touchdowns and getting dreamcrushed on Thanksgiving on a yearly basis and bad drafting and KNOWING that God hates you on a weekly basis, I’ve had to abandon all hope like Dante on multiple occasions.

But no tunnel is endless; there has to be light at the end. The light starts small: A “SUUUUHHHH” chant. Jahvid Best turning the corner and heading upfield. Louis Delmas decapitating a guy over the middle. But the Lions looks like they’re headed towards that light. There looks to be reason to hope… so I will.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

First, my Week 3 Lineup:

QB: Donovan McNabb (13 points)

RB’s: Arian Foster (10 points), Ahmad Bradshaw (15 points)

WR’s: Randy Moss (16 points), Malcom Floyd (15 points), Mark Clayton (8 points)

TE: Antonio Gates (16 points)

K: Sebastian Janikowski (13 points)

D/ST: Bears (15 points)

The Good:

This week was a good week for me. Double-digit production out of every position (except my 3rd WR), the Bears D blocked a FG, returned a punt, and didn’t let Aaron Rodgers (who I was up against) go crazy. McNabb, thankfully, didn’t completely suck in a loss to the Rams, and Sebastian Janikowski might be my MVP (He’s consistently getting me 5+ more points than the other teams’ kicker).

My MVP through Week 3? (Photo Courtesy of Exposay.com)

The Bad:

Both of my running backs fumbled, leaving 4 points on the board (and I learned last week how much EVERY point matters). In college, Arian Foster had problems with fumbles, so I am hoping this does not become a trend (but it IS something for the Foster owners to look out for).

The Ugly:

I left TWO 20+ point WR’s on my bench this week (Mike Wallace and Jeremy Maclin). I shouldn’t complain about an embarrassment of riches, but I took Maclin out for Clayton at approximately 10 a.m. Sunday morning and kicked myself in the head all day for it. Maclin’s got 4 TD’s in 3 weeks, Vick seems to love him, WHY bench him? It’s a mistake I won’t be making again, that’s for sure. (In unrelated news, I REALLY wish I could start Arian Foster and 4 WR’s every week.)

If only I could start Maclin and 3 other Wideouts... (Photo Courtesy of the AP)

The Week Ahead:

Week 4 is the first bye week of the season, so if you own any Cowboys, Chiefs, Vikings, or Buccaneers, sit them this week. Also, I’d start any Saints you own (Home against Carolina), any Texans (At Oakland), and any Colts not named Pierre Garcon (at Jacksonville).

52-Card Pickup:

Here are some avaliable, useful names out there on waivers for you, followed by their percent owned in ESPN leagues.

Jabar Gaffney (Owned in 20% of ESPN leagues), Kevin Walter (73%), Louis Murphy (50%), Peyton Hillis (70%), BenJarvus Green-Ellis (1.9%, a freaking STEAL if you act fast), Josh Freeman (16%), John Carlson (26%, leads the Seahawks in targets), Brandon Pettigrew (2.6%), Kyle Orton (58%), Max Hall (.5%… wait two weeks until Derek Anderson isn’t the starter in Arizona), Tony Moeaki (1.8%), Rashaad Jennings (23%), Devin Hester (21%), Mario Manningham (60%)

Let the stampede begin... (Photo Courtesy of Boston.com)

Free…. Free Fallin’:

Here are some guys you should be dropping to acquire some of the above names:

Robert Meachem, Brandon Jacobs, Jacoby Jones, Carson Palmer, Shonn Greene, Fred Taylor, Felix Jones, Micheal Crabtree, Darren Sproles, Kevin Boss, Any Carolina WR NOT named Steve Smith, Kevin Kolb (he’s not getting his job back anytime soon, by the look of it), Kenny Britt, Alex Smith, Bernard Berrian, Brent Celek.

See you back here next week.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

Once upon a time, there was a man. In his youth, he had worked hard, schemed well, and defeated many enemies. He sat on the top of the mountain, and it seemed as if his name would be carved into legend. But as he aged, his great victories became history instead of news. His past began to taste sweeter than his present. His present mediocrity began to outweigh his legend.

Once upon a time, there was a man. The day he was born, he wanted nothing more than to fight. And though he had talent, others told him that while he may fight for a time, he would never be a great warrior, never be a conqueror, and he would never have any great victories. And he set out to prove them, all of them, wrong.

But his fire never waned. He was still a great conqueror, after all. His body was aged, but his mind was as sharp as ever. So he engineered one last run, a swan song, a way to exit on top of the world. And the world was shocked. Taking down a superior opponent for a great victory, he left the battlefield behind. He became an advisor, and left the battlefield to his champion, a warrior who took punishment after punishment and delivered nothing but killing blows.

The man became a fighter, a brash one. He moved from place to place, looking for someone to mold him into a warrior, until one day, he realized that his travels and trials had made him one. And as a warrior, he fought well and talked better, his brashness hiding his insecurity, and both being overshadowed by his ability.

But as an advisor, he held less sway. His soldiers aged and moved on to other places. His champion stayed, still absorbing punishment, but no longer returning the favor with the same ferocity. Whispers gathered about the champion moving to another army. So the advisor made a promise to his champion: Stay, and he would do his absolute best to re-fortify the army. And so the champion became an advocate, calling other soldiers to join him in his fight.

Then, one day, the warrior was gravely injured. His army moved on without him, as they had to do, and the warrior grieved. And in his recovery, he began to feel forgotten, out of touch with his fellow soldiers and the people he fought for. And as he remembered the hurt of his youth, he became more and more brash, to cover the loss of his ability. But his brashness, when not coupled with the ability he once held, began to turn people away from him. And one day, the warrior made a large mistake, one that turned the will of the people, and the will of his fellow soldiers, against him.

Until the champion’s childhood hometown wanted him to come home. They promised better soldiers, and more champions that would join him in his quest for more great victories. And the advisor could do naught but watch as his champion began to drift away from him, and towards home.

The warrior stopped fighting. What did he have left to fight for? None were on his side. And then, one day, his army, his team and his people placed their hope in a younger, less brash version of him. And the warrior could do naught but listen as the voices of his youth rang louder and louder in his head.

Pat Riley and Gilbert Arenas could not BE more different. If Dwayne Wade leaves Miami for Chicago, Riley has fewer than five guaranteed contracts on the roster, and no star for any of the 2010 Free Agent class to play with. And the Wizards’ drafting John Wall has made Agent 0 exponentially more expendable if they could get rid of his albatross of a contract. So where does this leave our advisor and our warrior?

It may be time for them to join forces. It may be time for Riley to go to Defcon 0, for him to move to Plan G.

Miami is one of the few teams that could absorb Gilbert’s contract, and still have room to go get two or even three second-tier free agents (Paging JJ Redick, Paging JJ Redick). Washington would do anything to get rid of Gilbert and his contract (the new ownership has be looking to clean out the mistakes of the previous regime). I’m sure Gilbert needs a new start, and would be receptive to beginning his NBA redemption in South Beach.

Of course, the grand, sweeping caveat; This is pure speculation and conjecture on my part, and is rendered all but useless if Wade returns to Miami.

But the literature lover in me can’t help but love the story: The back-stabbed executive and the disgraced player joining forces to restore their former glory? I’d like to see how that’d play out.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

To make it as even as possible, I only took roughly the last 215 Plate Appearances from each player:

Player A: 216 Plate Appearances: 16 2b, 10 HR, 36 RBI’s, .272 Batting Average, .361 On-Base Percentage, .533 Slugging Percentage,  .894 OPS (On-Base+Slugging)

Player B: 213 PA, 8 2b, 13 HR, 47 RBI’s, .318 BA,  .362 OPB, .559 SLG, .920 OPS

Player C: 216 PA, 14 2b, 12 HR, 43 RBI’s, .338 BA, .389 OBP, .621 SLG, 1.010 OPS

Player D: 216 PA: 13 2b, 7 HR, 30 RBI’s, .316 BA, .373 OBP, .502 SLG, .864 OPS.

Just straight looking at the numbers, B and C are the top two choices, right? I mean, Players A and D not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but they’re not slugging the ball, driving in as many runs, or taking as many bases (which is what OPS basically is) as B and C. B and C should be punching their tickets to Anaheim, right?

Well, B the leading vote-getter for his position, almost a lock to go the the All-Star Game. Technically, D is a lock too (I’ll explain D in a minute, I kinda tricked you there to make a point). And while A isn’t a leading vote-getter, he’s currently fourth in the voting at his position and is assuredly going to Anaheim.

And C? Player C is Tigers’ rookie sensation Brennan Boesch.

Surprised? You shouldn’t be if you’ve watched this kid play for the last 2 months like I have. He’s been hitting for average AND power, keeping hitters honest against Miguel Cabrera (which Carlos Guillen wasn’t doing a great job of, sorry ‘Los).

He wasn’t supposed to be able to hit lefties, but he’s hitting them to the tune of a .455 batting average and 10 Extra-Base Hits in 44 at-bats. He was supposed to strike out a lot because of his free-swinging ways, but so far he’s striking only once every 6-at bats (Probable All-Star Mark Reynolds? One every THREE at-bats ends in a K.) Teams starting showing him the “power lefty shift” (the third baseman plays where the shortstop usually does, the shortstop sits on top of 2nd, the 2nd baseman plays in shallow right and the first baseman plays off the bag), and he started scorching doubles down the leftfield line.

But partially because he’s a rookie, partially because he doesn’t play in a top-tier market (New York, Boston, Chicago, LA), and partially because people are scared of the last name (It’s pronounced like Chris Bosh), there’s been almost no national hype surrounding the kid. But the numbers say he’s deserving, so it’s up to Tigers fans like you and me to get him in. So go here and write Boesch in on your All-Star Ballots (you can vote up to 25 times) and prove that three Tigers isn’t a crowd. It’s a statement.

Oh, and in case you were curious:

Player A

Player B

And Player D is a trick, it’s the average of the last 216 at-bats of the leading vote-getting outfielders of this year’s All-Star Game. All six of them. So Player D is Ichiro, Carl Crawford, Josh Hamilton, Ryan Braun, Jason Heyward and Andre Either put together.

Got another All-Star candidate not getting their fair publicity? Think Boesch is due to fall off? Agree with me whole-heartedly? Tell me about it in the comments below. Debate is the lifeblood of intelligence, after all.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

Last Night/She Said/Oh Baby I Feel So Down/And I Don’t Know Why: Losers of the 2010 NBA Draft:

Last night, after the first round, the losers stood as such: Golden State, the Clippers,

Is he crazy? Or is he crazy SMART? Time will tell. (Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Portland (for the first time in recent memory) and Memphis. New York THREW themselves into the Loser category by taking a guy no one else was going to (Andy Rautins, who actually kinda fits into D’Antonio’s crazy system) and a guy no one else had ever heard of. Ever. (Seriously, can someone put out an APB for a Landry Fields? He’s got a couple camps in New York to go to before he heads to the D-League.)

Golden State made only one draft choice, and to my delight, they spent it on Ekpe Udoh. Udoh is by no means a terrible prospect, but Golden State already drafted this guy. Twice. (Anthony Randolph and Brendan Wright.) Not that I WANTED them to take Greg Monroe… but I’ll wait for the winners section to explain that.

The Clippers? Actually, after the second round and the trade news, not as bad as I thought. Picking up Eric Bledose (my favorite PG prospect of the draft, because he might be the only one that ISN’T a combo guard) in a trade with Oklahoma City (who switched places so much, you’d think they were Bruce Chen), then picking up Willie Warren in the second round wasn’t a bad way to go. They still fail, though. Because of Al-Farouq Aminu. He’s exactly what they needed: a swingman who can (emphasis on CAN) shoot, defend, and rebound. But he only does ANY of these things when he wants to. If he had some excuse, like narcolepsy, I could see maybe drafting him. But when he’s just a lazy S.O.B. who just wants to get paid? Uh-uh. He even wore the Kid Cudi glasses to the biggest day of his life. Nope. Don’t believe in you, Al.

The Portland Trail Blazers aren’t used to being in the Loser’s column, but when you fire your GM an HOUR before the draft, he tends to be a little pissed. And so, last night, I think we got the first ever Eff-You (copyright: Bill Simmons) DRAFT. Poaching Babbitt from Minnesota wasn’t a terrible move, but drafting two combo guards when the combo guard you drafted two years ago (Jerryd Bayless) still can’t get any playing

"Fire Me? Fire ME? I BUILT THIS BUSINESS!!" (Photo Courtesy of the Portland Tribune)

time because he’s stuck behind your best starter and your best bench player (Brandon Roy and Rudy Fernandez, respectively) and you have another guard prospect (Patrick Mills) ready to return to the U.S.? And you needed another big man for when Greg Oden goes down? Yup… that’s how you screw your boss on your way out.

Memphis, Memphis, Memphis. Replacing Rudy Gay with Xavier (pronounced Zaa-Vee-Yay, according to the illustrious Stuart Scott) Henry? (We’re jogging towards it….) Trading a draft pick to a team MUCH smarter than you for straight cash? (We’re sprinting full speed for it…) Drafting a 6-6 guard who’s described as “the only guard in the NBA who loses a footrace to Bill Simmons”? (Yup, we just ran off the cliff of sensibility. Thank you, Chris Wallace.) Oh, and this warrants mentioning again: Greivis Vasquez? One UGLY-looking dude.

This WAS supposed to be a picture of Greivis Vasquez's face, but I don't hate you guys that much.

The Story That’s Just Begun/The Promise of What’s to Come/I’ma Remain a Soldier/Until The War is Won: Winners of the 2010 NBA Draft:

And last night, after the first round, my winners were the Pistons (a little bit of hometown bias, no lie), New Jersey, Oklahoma City, San Antonio, and Houston. After a bit of deliberation with the Council of One, it was determined that Oklahoma City was no longer a “winner” because no one could keep track of all the crap they did. So we are appointing Indiana to replace them after Indy made two good picks (Paul George in the first, who should provide offense off the bench as well as a potential replacement for Danny Granger, and Lance Stephenson, who’s main problem is being able to score while taking stupid shots. Not a bad problem to have) and traded their WTF pick to… Oklahoma City!

Detroit had the second no-brainer pick of the draft at #7. (No-brainer #1 being John

Cue Me doing Laps around my basement. (Photo Courtesy of Getty Images)

Wall.) Greg Monroe, a big man described as the best passer in the draft (not the best-passing big man, the best passer PERIOD.) who can play on the perimeter AND with his back to the basket, has a high basketball IQ, can rebound, and ISN’T a headcase? Yes please. I literally ran laps around my basement with happiness when they made this pick. I tweeted it last night, and I still stand by this: This is Joe D’s best draft pick. Not Tay. Not Stuckey. This guy right here.

New Jersey got the most athletic big man in the draft (Derrick Favors) to pair with their already-rock-steady big man Brook Lopez. Favors reminds me of Amare’, the way he gets to the rim without regard for human life and finishes when he gets there. I’d say that’s a good pick. But New Jersey also managed to snag Damion James out of Texas, a classic ‘tweener because of his height (6’8) and his perimeter game. He’ll give them energy off the bench and potentially replace the departed Chris Douglass-Roberts. With these two assets (Favors, in particular, is EXCELLENT trade bait) the Nets also set themselves up nicely for the upcoming free-agent period.

San Antonio, magically, like they always seem to, found an NBA-ready player in the

HOW does San Antonio always seem to get NBA-ready guys? (Photo Courtesy of ESPN)

latter half of the first round in James Anderson. An NBA-ready scorer who has good height for his position (a 6’6 shooting guard), Anderson can shoot, get to the line, and even rebound a little. How these guys always seem to fall to the Spurs I’ll never understand, but I’ll always appreciate how they never miss these guys. San Antonio also got a workout warrior with potential (Ryan Richards) in the second, but their main steal is Anderson.

Houston only had one pick in this draft, but they made it count by taking Patrick Patterson, aka “Younger, Better Carl Landry, whom we traded not six months ago”. Houston GM Daryl Morey just perpetuates the idea that he’s one of the smartest GM’s in the league with picks like this. Patterson is taller than Landry, has a bit more range, and passes better, but is less of a banger. Patterson will be given every opportunity to reach his full potential in Houston’s “Everybody is an option” offense.

So there you have it, the Winners and Losers of the 2010 NBA Draft. Got a gripe? Think I missed something? Didn’t insult the Timberwolves enough for your taste? Tell me about it the comments below! Oh and you get a bonus prize if you identify which songs both the lead-ins come from. Until the next time we meet, C’est La Vie.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

7:00: Coming to you live from the Official Basement of The Blackboard, it’s the 2010 NBA Draft! After the first 5 picks, this thing is gonna turn into a crapshoot of the highest order. Let’s get the party started!

7:10: I’m excited for this four-man team of Jay Bilas, Jeff Van Gundy, Jon Barry, and Stuart Scott’s cadaver. Draft starts in 20 minutes.

7:12: I just want to plead, silently, to the one true God, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let Greg Monroe fall to my Detroit Pistons. Please.

7:14: First prediction: Al-Farouq Aminu? Bust. SUCH a big bust. Especially if the Clippers get their cursed hands on him.

7:17: Just got news Kevin Pitchard, Portland trail Blazers GM, will be dismissed after today. Why Paul Allen wants to let go of the architect of the Post-Jail-Blazers-Era? I have no idea.

7:24: Is it just me, or did Rachel Nichols’ hair get less… red? I don’t know. Weird observation on my part. Draft approx. 5 minutes away.

7:27: I like whoever-this-guy is explaining the financials of the NBA. Do I already know this stuff? Pretty much. Is it still good to hear? Yup.

7:29: No one has James Harden’s cojones to wear a bow tie?

7:32: Hiya D-Stern! MSG erupts in boos at the mention of the Lakers’ recent championship. Then again, MSG boos everything. Washington’s on the clock.

7:34: Kwame Brown highlights (oxymoron, yes?) capped off with him in a Pistons uni. Excuse me as I insert bamboo under my fingernails.

7:36: With the First Pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Washington Wizards select John Wall, University of Kentucky.

7:37: Everyone’s happy, but no one is surprised. Waiting for something unexpected to happen.

7:38: At 6-4, Wall weighs less than Sherrod Collins, who’s 6-0. The things you learn from Chad Ford…

7:42: With the second pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers

Looks like an alien, sounds like an muppet, plays like a swiss-army knife. (Photo Courtesy of Getty Images)

select Evan Turner, from Ohio State University.

7:43: Again, no surprise. It’ll be interesting to see how he fits in with Iguadola and Jrue Holliday in the Philly backcourt. It’ll also be interesting to see if Doug Collins doesn’t irrevocably screw with his development.

7:45: I like Evan Turner, but he sounds like an underwater muppet. Just sayin’.

7:46: New Jersey on the clock. Here’s where things get very, very interesting… Russian Mark Cuban, surprise me, baby!

7:48: With the third pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the New Jersey Nets select Derrick Favors, Georgia Tech.

7:49: Not a HUGE surprise, they could have gone with Wesley Johnson, but good pick overall. He’ll kill with his athleticism alongside Brook Lopez and Free Agent Signing X. Avery Johnson will find away to use him. Unless, of course, the Nets trade his ass.

7:51: The Wolves are on the clock. It’s KAHHHHHNNNN TIIIMMEEEE!!!

7:53:With the fourth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Minnesota Timberwolves select Wesley Johnson, Syracuse.

He's an awesome talent... but my GOD those pants! (Photo Courtesy of Getty Images)

7:54: Well, I guess you couldn’t really screw that pick up TOO badly. Kahn couldn’t draft a point, and he couldn’t draft a big. Soo… Johnson was all that was left.

7:55: Jay Bilas tries to make a funny. Not right now, Jay.

7:57: …Are Wesley’s pants… Plaid? Is he wearing  a yellow sweater-vest and a red tie? OHHH HAPPY DAY!!!

7:58: John Wall’s Reebook commercial isn’t half bad. I thought Nike, being the evil awesome bastards that they are, would snap up a #1 pick, though.

8:00: With the fifth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Sacramento Kings select DeMarcus Cousins, Kentucky.

8:00:45: YYYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAHAAaAHHHHH!!!!!!! WE’RE NOT STUCK WITH THE PROBLEM CHILD OH THANK YOU GOD.

8:01: There is no denying Cousins’ talent, mind you. But he’s a headcase. And the LAST things my Pistons need right now is a headcase. He and Tyreke Evans will be a force on the pick-and-roll, though.

8:02: “Must Improve: Maturity.” Yup, that’s it in a nutshell.

8:04: My heart’s killing me right now… if the Warriors pass on Monroe, and we get Monroe, I might pass out in my obvious excitement…

8:05: DeMarcus Cousins is “A kid who just likes to have fun…” Yup. I don’t want that guy. That first road trip in South Beach… watch out.

8:06: The Warriors are on the clock. Please, Nellie, screw this pick up. Please. Just be yourself…

8:07: With the sixth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Golden State Warriors select Ekpe Udoh, Baylor.

8:07: Breathe. breathe. Breathe. breathe. breathe. breathe. breatherbreathebreathebreathebreathe IWANTMONROENOWPLEASE

8:08: I’m really sorry, Epke. You sound real good, and you play the part well, but Don Nelson is going to kill your career. Just ask your new teammates, Anthony Randolph and Brendan Wright.

8:09: Pistons on the clock. Joe D., If you screw this up… I won’t be responsible for what happens after that. Don’t you dare offer Tay and whoever we get to the Kings for The Headcase.

Don't you trade for Cousins... Don't you DARE. (Photo Courtesy of SciFiScoop.com)

8:11: With seventh pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Detroit Pistons select Greg Monroe, Georgetown.

8:12: Finally. I can exhale. The guy I wanted all along, the smooth-passing big man with the back-to-the-basket game. Oh thank God. Oh thank God.

8:14: I honestly don’t care how the rest of the draft falls out. Actually, now I can just relax and take it easy… whew. Exhale.

8:15: The Los Angeles Clippers are on the clock. A.K.A- the funniest 5 minutes in sports.

8:17: With the eight pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Los Angeles Clippers select Al-Farouq Aminu, Wake Forest.

8:18: This might be the perfect merger of team and player. The Clippers don’t really want to win, and neither does Aminu. They’re both MUCH more concerned with making money,

8:19: Rocking the Kid Cudi shades to the biggest day of your life? Not the BEST look, Aminu.

8:21: Can we just call him Al? Do we have to call him Al-Farouq? And he thinks the Clippers have “smart people who know the game of basketball”. That cracking sound you heard was the Unintentional Comedy Scale Breaking.

8:22: The Jazz are on the clock. Best White Guy Avaliable, fluff the suit, you’re on.

Is he the best avaliable white guy? Yes. Is he also a pretty good player? Yes. (Photo Courtesy of DraftExpress.com)

8:24: With the ninth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Utah Jazz select Gordon Hayward, Butler.

8:25: Did I SAY the best white guy would get picked here? Was I WRONG? Nope. But I respect Hayward’s game. He’s got good basketball sense, nice range, and he drives nice for… a white guy.

8:27: Is it stereotypical if the white guy has the blandest suit of any of the picks so far? No? Ok, cool. Wouldn’t want to be stereotypical.

8:29: Hayward’s twin sister looks HIT. Sorry, buddy. Get her a makeover with that signing bonus check. (Yes, I would still make this joke if she was hit and black, don’t worry. But I can’t say a dude’s mom looks hit. That’s just wrong.)

8:30: The Indiana Pacers are on the clock, and they have to be PISSED they didn’t get the white guy.

8:31: With the tenth pick in the 2010 NBA, the Indiana Pacers select Paul George of Fresno State.

8:32: His name is bland, his game is bland, and he just got drafted by the blandest team in the league. Didn’t this not work when the Pacers traded for Kareem Rush? He just SCREAMS bust to me.

8:33: New Orleans is on the clock. Who could THEY draft? They need bigs, but they’d have to choose between the immature Ed Davis and the low-ceiling Aldrich… we’ll see after the “turrible” Taco Bell commerical.

8:36: With the eleventh pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the New Orleans Hornets select Cole Aldrich, Kansas.

8:37: Well, I called it. Aldrich will improve their frontline, but he may never be better than he is right now offensively. At least he’s a plus defender.

8:39: And Ed Davis has to be couting all the money he’s losing right now.

8:40: HOLD THE PHONES!! Twitter is telling me the Hornets are going to trade this pick to Oklahoma City as part of as-yet unfinished deal.

8:41: Ok, the deal is Aldrich and Mo Pete (a Mo Pete Sighting!) for OKC’s #18 and #21 picks. that’s not a bad deal. doesn’t change how well Aldrich will play, but OKC DID need a bit more of a defensive interior prescence. Grizzlies on the clock.

8:42: With the twelfth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Memphis Grizzlies select Xavier Henry, Kansas.

8:43: That’s a good pick by Memphis. He’ll probably replace the soon-to-be-departed Rudy Gay for Memphis. He’s even a lefty like Gay. He’s got a chance to be a good NBA player.

8:45: I wonder now who’s overpaying for Rudy Gay now? New York seems like a prime candidate…

8:46: Is he… crying? Awww… Xavier Henry’s crying! He misses his brother!

8:48: Toronto’s on the clock. Ed Davis time?

8:49: With the thirteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Toronto Raptors select Ed Davis, North Carolina.

8:50: Yup, it IS Ed Davis time. So far we have the Rudy Gay Replacement Plan and the Chris Bosh Replacement Plan. Meanwhile, Ed Davis sounds like he’s excited to not play D in Toronto’s system.

8:51: Houston’s on the clock. I’m interested to see what they do here, because Daryl Morey is one of the more respected and knowledgeable GM’s in the league.

8:52: Swear to God, If this damn hamster Kia commercial comes on again… it’s just an affront to all things old-school. Can’t stand it. I hate it so much, I’m going to subject you to it.

8:54: The ESPY commercial, on the other hand, isn’t an affront. It’s just bad.

8:55: With the fourteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Houston Rockets select Patrick Patterson, Kentucky.

8:56: Smart, smart, SMART pick. Patterson essentially replace Carl Landry, who the Rockets traded away at midseason for Kevin Martin. Patterson defends well, has nice range, works hard, finishes well… why is Houston so GOOD at drafting?

8:58: Milwaukee’s on the clock. And right now, the CRAPshoot is in full effect right now.

9:00: With the fifteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Milwaukee Bucks select Larry Sanders, Virgina Commonwealth. And we get the first “Player is not here” from David Stern.

9:02: Eh, I’m ambivalent about Sanders. meh. In more exciting news, Twitter is telling me the Spurs have a guy in mind at #20, and if they don’t get him, they’ll trade down. Thank you, the future of news media.

9:04: T-Wolves on the clock. Again.

9:06: With the sixteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Minnesota Timberwolves select Luke Babbitt, University of Nevada.

9:07: Honestly? I was surprised when Indy didn’t grab this guy. He’s the quintessential high-riser, flying up all the draft boards since workouts and interviews started. I would be MUCH MUCH higher on him if he didn’t remind me of Adam Morrison, right down to the bad skin.

9:08: HOLD THE PHONES: Twitter is telling me that Babbitt will be traded to the Trail Blazers for Martell Webster. He still reminds me FAR too much of Adam Morrison to like the pick. The Bulls are on the clock.

9:09: Analysts saying that the Bulls need another shooter to surround LeBron with. LeBron hasn’t signed anywhere yet, people.

With the 19th pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls select... Cap Space!! (Photo Courtesy of Getty Images)

9:10: With the seventeenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls select Kevin Seraphin for the Washington Wizards (Kirk Hinrich trade) from France.

9:11: Didn’t expect Washington would take the first foreign guy. Apparently this guy is young, tall, talented, and a defensive talent waiting to blossom. Eh, Washington could have done worse. Oklahoma City on the clock.

9:14: OKC apparently traded #21 and #26 to New Orleans, so they ARE drafting for themselves right here.

9:15: With the eighteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Oklahoma City Thunder select Eric Bledsoe, Kentucky.

9:16: Hmmmm…. that’s interesting. Russell Westbrook developed nicely for OKC at the point this year, but in my mind, Bledsoe is the best PG in this draft. So who goes where? Bledsoe and Harden off the bench is young and dangerous, I won’t lie.

And he was going to be SUCH a good point guard, too. Oh well. Kiss his ACL's goodbye. (Photo Courtesy of Flangrantfouls.com)

9:18: The Boston Celtics are on the clock. Right now, they need a backup for Rondo, So I’d expect Avery Bradley right here. Oh yeah, and Sheed retired.

9:19: Twitter is telling me that Eric Bledsoe is on the move to the Clippers for a future first round-pick. Oh, that’s too bad, I really liked the idea of Bledsoe becoming a good player… too bad. Now he gets to learn how to waste 20 second of a possession from Baron Davis and how to facepalm effectively when Aminu doesn’t feel like playing D.

9:20: With the nineteenth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Boston Celtics select Avery Bradley, University of Texas.

9:22: Yup, I called it. Bradley is awesome defensively on and off the ball, can (but often doesn’t) finish, and needs to work on his point guard skills. Good pick. Now San Antonio picks. I wonder if they’ll get who they targetted…

9:24: With the twentieth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the San Antonio Spurs select James Anderson, Oklahoma State University.

9:27: Unsurprisingly, San Antonio take the best avaliable player. Anderson is a lights-out shooter in addition to being a plus on-the-ball defender. He’ll get plenty of open looks from people doubling off on Ginobilli. Great pick for the Spurs.

9:29: Oklahoma City for New Orleans on the clock.

9:30: With the twenty-first pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the New Orleans Hornets get Craig Brackens, Iowa State.

9:31: Ok, New Orleans still after frontcourt depth. Brackens was overshadowed by the suckitude of his team, but he plays well with his back to the basket and rebounds well. Maybe he’ll be better than Aldrich, maybe he won’t. He stretches the floor better than Aldrich, at the very least.

9:33: Portland on the clock. Interesting to see who Pritchard will take on his way out the door.

9:35: With the twenty-second pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Portland Trail Blazers select Elliot Williams, Memphis.

9:36: Eh, not the worst pick by the Trail Blazers. Williams can guard both guard positions, but doesn’t pass all that well, and can’t shoot all that well. So… your mileage may vary. I remember seeing him as a PG prospect, but if he can’t pass all that great, he won’t function well in Portland offense.

9:38: My interest in this draft is slowly waning… the Pistons got who I wanted them to get, the Spurs got a good player, Timberwolves screwed up a pick (Babbit for Webster? NAWWWW….) and the draft has gone according to plan, for the most part.

9:40: With the twenty-third pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Minnesota Timberwolves select Trevor Booker, Clemson.

9:41: Who? Oh, Kahn thought he could get away with drafting another big man if the guy wasn’t technically “big”. Booker’s only 6-7. Sneaky, sneaky, Kahn.

9:43: Memphis on the clock. I’m flipping to the Tigers game.

9:44: FFFFUUUUUU the Tigers are only up 6-5 in the bottom of the seventh. Two guys on for the Mets. At least Coke, our second-most reliable bullpen guy, is in there to douse the flames.

9:45: Coke gets the weak grounder, but Santiago can’t do anything with it. Again, FFFFFFFUUUUUUU… and now David Wright is up there. Awesome. It’s at LEAST a tie game soon.

9:46: With the twenty-fourth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Atlanta Hawks select Damion Jones.

Second-Best Moment of the night came when he struck out Wright. (Photo Courtesy of The Oakland Press)

9:47: Memphis on the clock. Again. And there’s some kind of trade proposal with Minnesota (Booker) and someone. Details soon. Back to Tigers!

9:48: COKE STRIKES OUT WRIGHT!!!!! Belt-high fastball, outside corner. Oh thank the Lord, 2 outs in the bottom of the 7th. Now, hopefully, Coke messes up the lefty phenom Ike Davis.

9:50: With the twenty-fifth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Memphis Grizzlies select Dominique Jones, University of South Florida.

9:51: I’ve heard he might be the second-best pure scorer in the draft. According to Bilas, he’s a “strong, dominant scorer.” Can’t be terrible. Oh, and he has an AWESOME NBA name. Come on, you know a dude named Dominique Jones can ball.

9:53: OKC (for New Orleans) on the clock right now. I’ve hit the 2500-word wall, and am COMPLETELY running out of things to say. If you hadn’t noticed. Just saying, if the second half of this live-blog sucks, now you know why.

9:55: With the twenty-sixth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the New Orleans Hornets get Quincy Pondexter, University of Washington.

9:56: Quincy offers frontcourt depth, along with range and offensive rebounding ability. Like the last five picks, he’s not exciting, but he’s solid. Well, hopefully he’ll be solid.

9:57: New Jersey on the clock. Let’s see what The Billionare Russian has up his sleeves…

9:59: With the twenty-seventh pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the New Jersey Nets select Jordan Crawford, Xavier.

10:01: Crawford’s a scorer, pure and simple. And he’s on his way to Atlanta for Damion Jones, Atlanta’s 24th pick. Scorer-for-scorer? Why not just draft the guy you want?

10:03: Oh yeah, and the Booker trade? He’s on his way to the Wizards for some second-round draft picks. Uninterested, I am.

10:05: Memphis on the clock. This is from the Pau Gasol trade… ahahahaaha the Pau Gasol trade… *sniff* good times.

10:06: With the twenty-eighth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Memphis Grizzlies select Greivis Vasquez, Maryland.

10:07: I remember he scared me shitless in the NCAA tourney against MSU. They say he’s unathletic, but he always seems to find a way to get to the rim. He can score with and without the ball. And he’s 6-6, good height for a combo guard. Two knocks, though: His name is “Grievis”, which I’m pretty sure was the robot Jedi from Star Wars II, and he’s ugly as sin. Seriously, that is an ugly, ugly mofo.

10:10: The Orlando Magic are on the clock. What do they need? Rashard Lewis needs a pick-and roll partner… whatcha got, Stern?

10:12: With the twenty-ninth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Orlando Magic select Daniel Orton, Kentucky.

10:13: Well… I didn’t see THAT coming. Orton is PURE, raw potential. I guess playing behind Dwight Howard will help speed along his development, but Orlando needed something… else. That’s all.

10:15: Washington is on the clock with the final pick in the first round of the 2010 NBA Draft. Thank god. My left wrist is almost completely numb.

10:17: With the thirtieth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Washington Wizards select Lazar Hayward, Marquette.

Have you seen this man before? 'Cuz I haven't. (Photo Courtesy of NBCSports.com)

10:18: I’ve never heard of this guy. Never heard of this guy. And I’ve spent the last three days researching the draft.

10:20: Quick Winners and Losers:

Winners: Detroit, New Jersey, Oklahoma City, San Antonio, Houston.

Losers: Golden State, Los Angeles Clippers, Portland, Memphis.

For more in-depth analysis of tonight’s winners and losers, check out The Morning After. Got comments? Got questions? Got an opinion? Tell me about it in the comment box below. Until next time, C’est La Vie.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

The NBA Draft is coming up tomorrow, and while the second tier of draftees may be… unexciting, the inherent trade drama still manages to make the draft watchable. The Thunder have already moved up, as did Portland. I’ve heard rumblings of the Spurs trying to move up and the Celtics trying to move down. And through it all, the Wizards have been cackling to themselves because they get to take John Wall, one of the few “sure things” in this draft. Draft starts tomorrow at 7 p.m. Eastern on ESPN. I’ll be watching it, and so should you.

In the “Ideas-I-Just-Came-Up-With-Because-I-REALLY-Don’t-Want-Cousins” department, if Joe D. can’t swing a trade and Cousins and Monroe are gone at 7, I have an irrational, irrational idea: take Eric Bledsoe, PG, Kentucky. Stop laughing, I’m serious. We know the Pistons are looking to get tougher, but right now they don’t have a single point guard on the roster (and their closest thing to one is…. Will Bynum). You draft a top point like Bledsoe, it allows you to clear up the 2-guard logjam the Pistons have right now through trades and good-old-fashioned housecleaning.

I have to say, I liked William Wesley a lot better when he was a rumor, a myth, a legend the agents used to tuck the players in at night. Now that I know he’s real, and he’s trying to exert his power over the rest of the league, he seems less like an awesome story, and more like a guy who’s drastically over-estimated how much power he actually has.

Fresh from the “We-Are-All-United-States-Soccer-Fans” department, Landon Donovan is a big time baller/shotcaller. After he scored in extra time (it’s like overtime, but doesn’t make any sense) to defeat Algeria and win Group D for us Yanks, I guarantee an uptick in male children named “Landon”. Now all the USA team has to do is find ways to not get behind early and take advantage of the multiple scoring chances they haven’t capitalized on in the World Cup, and they have a shot to win a game or three.

In Detroit Tigers baseball, I’m already looking ahead to the upcoming series in Minnesota. It’s not a season-breaking series, but coming out of Target Field (it feels SO good to not have to type “The Metrodome”) up a game or tied for first in the Central would mean wonders for this team. Frankly, we don’t know how good this team is because they’ve been beating up on crappy NL teams for the last two weeks. Taking two of three from the Twinkies would certainly let the fans know that this team is ready to compete now.

I’ll be live-blogging the NBA Draft tomorrow, so check back here for up-to-the-draft-pick commentary and analysis of tomorrow’s draft. Until then, go back and listen to “Is This It?” by The Strokes, because it’s still better than anything I’ve heard this decade.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

Step 1: Hold The Line in the First Quarter, So You Can Win in the Fourth.

Orlando, so far, has been successful in playing catch-up in the fourth, outscoring Boston 52 to 35 in the fourth quarters of Games 1 and 2. But the Celtics have been the aggressors in the early game. In Game 1, Boston led 20-10 with a minute and a half to go in the first quarter, and in Game 2, Boston jumped out to a 23-12 lead in the first 10 minutes of the first quarter. So far, Boston has spent the first quarter establishing their dominance, which sets the tone for the rest of the half.

...Sums up Boston's First Quarters Quite Nicely.

Tonight in Game 3, the Magic need to come out with their foot on the accelerator, they need to establish the tone for the first half. They’ve shown they can run the 48-minute marathon, but tonight they need to run an 8-10 minute sprint to start the game right.

Step 2: Stop Grounding Superman.

The Magic have spent the better part of two games trying to establish Dwight Howard exclusively as a post presence. So far, this game plan has produced a bad offensive game (Game 1: 3-10 from the field, 13 points) and an efficient game (Game 2: 9-13 from the field, 30 points).  Let’s be honest: Dwight doesn’t have the insane swiss-army array of lost post moves like a Tim Duncan or a Shaq. Not to mention that when the ball goes into Dwight, it’s not coming back out, which clogs the Magic’s long-range orientated gameplan. But to win, Dwight is going to have to score for the Magic. So how do you get him to score without grinding the offense to a standstill?

Answer: Pick-and-Rolls. LOTS of them. A rolling, moving Dwight Howard is much better than an iso’d, alone-on-the-block Dwight Howard. And if Howard’s moving, the rest of the offense should be too, allowing Nelson to find open shooters (whose defenders left them to try and slow Dwight’s runaway train impression). Let Superman fly to the basket!

Step 3: Wake up The $118 Million Dollar Man.

Haven't Seen A Lot of Shooting From Lewis So Far.

Rashard Lewis’ Game 1 Stats: 2-10 from the field, 0-6 from 3. 6 points and 7 rebounds.

Rashard Lewis’ Game 2 Stats: 2-6 from the floor, 1-3 from 3. 5 points and 4 rebounds.

SAD, SAD, SAD. This from the guy who single-handedly broke the Cleveland Cavaliers last year, the guy I called “The Omega Mismatch”, the guy who should be stretching the Celtics’ rotations more than a medieval torture device. What’s wrong?

Frankly, from what I’ve seen, he hasn’t been aggressive enough. Only 6 shots in Game 2? And no free throws? So he’s got to be more aggressive tonight. Also, if Step 2 is put into place, he would become more of a threat. He’d be roving around the perimeter instead of waiting in the corner for a swing pass that never comes. Not to mention his roving would draw Garnett or Big Baby Davis away from the paint, and away from Superman.

If Orlando follows these three steps tonight, we maybe, MAYBE, could see some interesting basketball in the coming week. And that’s something I think we’d all like.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

That’s the wrong move to make.

We’ve still got three series of high-intensity playoff basketball left; no need to look to the off-season just yet; especially when you have an exciting Finals matchup still in play. No, not the one you’re thinking of (Lakers-Celtics).

An Orlando-Phoenix Series is one you’ve always wanted, but never knew. Here’s why:

#1: Off-The-Charts Entertainment Value.

Both Orlando and Phoenix play a high-scoring (read: exciting) style of basketball that should suck in even the most casual fan. Talented point guards (Nash and Nelson) running high-octane offenses that will average 100+ points a game? Sounds like a selling point. Lots of games coming down to the wire?  Great for keeping fans sucked in! Lots of  5-point spurts and 10-point runs before you can blink? A reason to never turn away from the television. An Orlando-Phoenix Finals is a recipe for ratings even without the “star power” of a Kobe or a LeBron. Awesomely-run, high scoring games will easily get people interested.

#2: The Redemption of a Head Coach.

Remember Stan Van Gundy? Aka “The Guy Pat Riley had to Shank in the Back to Win

It's Redemption Time.

Another Ring?” If he wins a ring here, it’s a slap in the face to the Miami Heat (who, after Riley’s departure, tagged the way-to-young Eric Spolestra to coach) and Shaq (who is rumored to be the reason behind Van Gundy’s shanking).  Alvin Gentry, on the other hand, has no singular moment to take revenge for, but winning a ring after coaching those terrible Pistons and Clippers teams, not to mention and the 6 years he spent bouncing around the league as assistant coach, would validate his career.

#3: The Vince Carter/Steve Nash Storyline.

He's napalmed bridges in two weperate countries. He wins a ring, none of it matters.

Neither one of these guys has a ring. Both of them, in their prime, were considered superstar players (and Nash still is considered that based upon who you talk to). But they have two vastly different styles. Nash is team-orientated, with the vision of Google Earth and the passing precision of a laser-guided missile. Carter is (and always has been) self-orientated, known for isolation plays around and through the opposing D. Nash has a fan favorite everywhere he’s been. Carter has napalmed bridges in two COUNTRIES. They’re the opposite sides of the superstar coin. And in this dream matchup, one of them walks away (into the sunset, maybe) with a ring in hand, legacy cemented.

#4: A Tortured Fanbase Gets Rewarded.

Nick Anderson’s Free Throws vs. Nash’s Nosebleed. The Brian Hill Era vs. The Seven Seconds Or Less Era (specifically 04-05). Putting up with T-Mac losing in the first round every year vs. The Stephon Marbury Experience. Shaq and Penny never winning it all vs. Barkley and KJ never winning it all. In this matchup, one of these fanbases is gonna earn their rings and sweet release of 20+ years of baggage.

#5: You Can’t Have Cavs-Lakers.

LeBron’s out. We saw Celtics/Lakers two years ago, and a rehash of old storylines (not classic storylines, old storylines) isn’t appealing.  We saw Magic/Lakers last year, and right now there’s no reason the series should turn out differently.  Celtics/Suns could resonate… with the 40-and-over crowd who saw the ’76 Finals when the were little. Face it, this is the most exciting possibility left in the playoffs.

It's not gonna happen. Sorry.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.

What does this have to do with the blog? For that matter, what does that have to do with the title of this article? Well… let’s start at the beginning.As it turns out, I love writing; but it sucks for me. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can’t. Even when it’s something I feel deeply about, it’s still hard to sit down, type it out, edit to normal levels of cognition, and publish it. Writing is, for me, Joy and Pain (OMG that’s what the title says, isn’t it?)

So, I have to make a dedication to myself (and to you, the 25 or so people who read this blog) to ride out the joy and ride through the pain, and put at least three pieces up a week (until I get a real job, and then we’ll see where THAT takes us). But I need your help.

I need ideas. LOTS of ideas. Sure, I’ve been using this as a forum for sports analysis mainly, but that can easily change. (That being said, I hope to finish a sports column for ya by Friday, die-hards). So, if you have something you like me to write about, PLEASE, do NOT be afraid to bring it up to me. If I profess ignorance on the subject (which happens more than I’d like) I’ll do some research, and get back to you.

In the spirit of your input, I’d also like to request one more thing from you. I am of the mind that this blog needs a new name. “The Blackboard” is too generic and too easily forgettable for what I want to use it for. So I’ll be accepting submissions for new blog names (with a probable poll later in the summer).

So, thanks in advance for the input, and I hope to see you all this summer.

Lazarus Jackson is a writer and connoisseur of pro and college sports, especially Detroit-area pro teams. You can contact him at lazchancemsu@gmail.com or on Twitter at twitter.com/lazchance.